Be not afraid, I go before you always

It's 23mins past midnight. Another day came and gone. I'm not even sure if it's been very productive. And yet, is being productive so important?

I bought a new bible today. Felt like forever since I last really read one in depth or in a proper fashion. I still have my old one.. so actually I'm not sure why I bought a new one (it's a very small and light one) but maybe I wanted to "start anew" in some manner? Maybe I'm just kidding myself.

But the entire day.. I am deeply touched by these words :

           Be not afraid. I go before you always.

I can't explain it but the sense of comfort and peace is great, knowing that our Lord will protect me and he will be ahead of me, leading and clearing the way.

Lately I have had a lot on my mind. Nothing new I guess. But I've been feeling really quite overwhelmed and confused. Over what you may ask? A messy concoction of matters - college matters, music, my insecurities, my jealousy, my feelings, my existence, my purpose in life. I'm not saying that it's all gone now. But for a brief moment today, some of these worries felt undue.

I'm learning to let God lead the way.
I'm learning to believe that God has the power to transform matters completely differently.
I'm learning to trust that He will let His plans come to past and they shall in accordance to His will.
I'm learning to laugh and smile because God is going before me.
I'm learning not to fear because He has asked me not to be afraid.

Lord, you know all my deepest fears, my unreasonable anxieties and my darkest demons. Please quelch my worries and know that you are in total control.

Take these away from me. And fill my heart with peace.