I sat and sighed

I had a terrible dream.

Didn't help that when I woke up (1hr earlier than I intended to), the first thing that beeped was him saying "Go to bed". No, I'm not angry at the messaging. In fact it's a bit funny because it's an inside joke. But I just sat there, and sighed.

And only God knows the sorrow and longing inside my heart. Sometimes it's so much, I feel that it's overwhelming me.

If this is not him, then where is he?

Who am I these days? Where has the old me who didn't care about love gone to?