These few days have been rather depressing. I seldom use that word carelessly but I do feel a mixture of restlessness and mild sadness, with great reluctance to do pretty much anything. But I came back to this blog, only to be encouraged by what I have written in the past.
My unanswered questions today are :
1) Why am I worried?
2) How do musicians stay so sharp and driven all the time?
3) Should I be bothered with people who are moody?
So basically, I'm trying to answer these few questions this morning.
1) Why am I worried?
- Recital on Mon - I can play the pieces, everything will go alright. There is nothing to fear. I don't have to be worried. I just need to focus, breathe and enjoy the music. Be confident. Be proud. Be happy.
2) How do musicians stay so sharp and driven all the time?
- Some people seem to be able to do top-form practice for hours, every single day. And when the performance time comes, they play brilliantly. I would be lying if I say I wasn't envious. But how the heck do they do that? How do they keep finding the drive and inspiration to sustain them through days of hard work and the frightening moments of performance? Are they just naturally so good and so strong? Or is this a skill that can be cultivated and perfected? If so, how can I do this? Or are they just hiding it all, and at the same time, still capable of delivering results?
3) Should I be bothered with people who are moody?
- My answer is no. Not that I don't care, but I think sometimes the best remedy for bad moods is solitude. Having some distance from people does wonders to clear one's mind. I believe that holding back and leaving someone alone (aka giving that person space) is a form of care.
I'm still feeling shit so maybe blogging it out hasn't helped me much. Sometimes I feel so crap and so restless and mildly angry even.. that nothing seems to help. Not sleeping, not eating, not cooking, not praying, not shopping, not reading. It's crazy. I'm crazy.
Go to college paul.
My unanswered questions today are :
1) Why am I worried?
2) How do musicians stay so sharp and driven all the time?
3) Should I be bothered with people who are moody?
So basically, I'm trying to answer these few questions this morning.
1) Why am I worried?
- Recital on Mon - I can play the pieces, everything will go alright. There is nothing to fear. I don't have to be worried. I just need to focus, breathe and enjoy the music. Be confident. Be proud. Be happy.
2) How do musicians stay so sharp and driven all the time?
- Some people seem to be able to do top-form practice for hours, every single day. And when the performance time comes, they play brilliantly. I would be lying if I say I wasn't envious. But how the heck do they do that? How do they keep finding the drive and inspiration to sustain them through days of hard work and the frightening moments of performance? Are they just naturally so good and so strong? Or is this a skill that can be cultivated and perfected? If so, how can I do this? Or are they just hiding it all, and at the same time, still capable of delivering results?
3) Should I be bothered with people who are moody?
- My answer is no. Not that I don't care, but I think sometimes the best remedy for bad moods is solitude. Having some distance from people does wonders to clear one's mind. I believe that holding back and leaving someone alone (aka giving that person space) is a form of care.
I'm still feeling shit so maybe blogging it out hasn't helped me much. Sometimes I feel so crap and so restless and mildly angry even.. that nothing seems to help. Not sleeping, not eating, not cooking, not praying, not shopping, not reading. It's crazy. I'm crazy.
Go to college paul.
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