Time will tell?

Saturday came, and Saturday went.
Yet another day closer to the day I fear most.

Anniversaries.
What do we really expect out of them? What exactly are we trying to recall when we remember or celebrate them? First it was 2 months, and now, we're down to about a week plus. Am I afraid of the day itself, or am I fearful of the growing insignificance? Never did I once look at the diary without my eyes running to the little box that says "Has it been 4 years already? OH MY GOD!!".. What can I say? It has been magical from the very start. He never was my kind of dream guy, but he made me feel like a dream girl. And his sincerity alone made him more charming than any dean's-list scholar, dashing athelete, or suave musician. But most importantly, I realised I have really fallen in love with him. Me? I don't even know how it happened. I am a person who find it hard to even really adore someone, least to say, open my heart completely to another. Is he really the guy who finally has the key to my bound-up heart?

Yesterday's masterclass was a success. And to my joy, I looked a million dollars yesterday evening. I seriously have not seen myself that beautiful before.. and I would have felt priceless if he had given me a "wow-honey-you-were-great-I'm-so-proud-of-you" smile. But there was barely a 2-second glance. No "honey-you-were-great" smile. Nothing. Could two people who truly loved one another just suddenly walk away, put it all behind, and never look back?

Marianne says "Time will tell". Is he just distracted by something out there or has he really changed to become another person? Could the man I love so much and the man I trust my life with could simply morph into someone overnight? For good? And what if one day, he turns around and walk back? I may have grown up through this humbling episode, but if the day should ever dawn upon me, will I have the courage to pick up the pieces? My my, I must be silly to think this way. Silly me.

What do we do with anniversaries when the reason to celebrate it is lost?
You tell me. Do we celebrate what has been, or what is to be?


Have we really come so far, gone through so much, only to end this way?