Happiness?

I'm relieved to feel happy again.

Being troubled for the last 2-3 weeks have made me realised how important it was for me to be happy. I do not enjoy being unhappy. I guess nobody does. So what I'm saying is kinda crappy but I hope you get my drift.

And in a way, perhaps I've also come slightly closer to knowing what brings me joy. You might start to think of material items, money or love. Those are important and we cannot absolve ourselves from those things. I need some comfort. I need my salary to pay my bills and buy my air tickets. I need to love and feel loved. But the crux of the matter here is knowing how to draw my happy line.

What the heck is a happy line?! This happy line of mine forms an invisible boundary to my contentment in life.

Sometimes things make me lose sight of this line and I'm suddenly thrown out of balance like a blind person losing his footing.

I live in a world, a society, where most (if not, all) my friends are highly successful. Success is honestly differs from everyone's perspective, but I'm talking about general society perception. Good job, high salary, nice home, married, maybe have a kid or two. Get promoted. Earn even more money. Advertisements tell you that you are only happy if you have yadda yadda kind of lifestyle. Live in a luxury home. Drive an expensive imported car. Get married with a Tiffany's ring. Have one or two kids by age 35. These things trouble me. Because they confuse me. Am I supposed to work towards having these things? Will being a vice-president, earning 100k annual, jet-setting around for work, married, etc make me happy?

Or is that what commercialised bloodthirsty corporates is brainwashing into our little minds?

Who the heck said we should work 10hrs a day, earn a lot and we will be happy?

Is that all but a false sense of inner security?

I'm beginning to think so. But I'm young. I don't know much. But I want to find the thing that clicks. And I'm gonna let God show me where to go and what to do. Cos he's God. He's supposed to know a lot of stuff. So, I'm gonna try and learn to be quiet and take instructions from the expert. Maybe that would work better. You think?

For now, I'm recovering from the shitty two plus weeks of fretting.
Breathe.