Guilty

God, I feel guilty.

I'm Home Alone right now, ate a bag of cheese rings in replace of a proper meal, used ym's shower foam just now (cos I ran out of mine) and I'm watching SATC on the couch in nothing but my nice pink towel.. as though I own the goddamn place.

No, I didn't feel all that guilty doing the above, in fact, I was starting to enjoy the fact that ym has gone off to yet another holiday with her bf clement and leaving me all alone in the house again. Sometimes, I find it a steal to pay $400 and always having the entire apartment, yes, to myself.

No, I don't own the goddamn place. I'm renting. Someday I'll have to move out - when I got a job in ulu Changi, when I meet a man of my dreams, or perhaps when I'm dead broke. Then why do I at times forget that I'm merely "one of the tenants" and start having that crazy landloard mentality? wtf?

Why the hell am I crazily looking for a new housemate to sub ym when it isn't even my job (hell, what do landlords do nowadays?) Why am I thinking of buying a 21" LG Flatron television for the f*cking flat? Why am I cursing so much in my head these days?

To make it worse, 1st epidode of SATC 2nd season...
Miranda "It's been two years. I forgot how hard it can be."

Strangely, its been only .. f*ckin 8 months and I've already forgotten how hard it was? What was I thinking about when I suggested that ym stay and to invite her broken-hearted friend over? Shit. What the hell. She's right. It's the right thing to do when your friend has a bastard boyfriend who walks out on her, and her condo. It's the right thing to do when your friend is feeling really low and shitty all alone in her apartment.

I know that leaves me alone.
But I'll find someone new. Right?

Okay, mo just called me. I'm gonna go pick her up from the station. She's coming over to my place and we're gonna have vodka, snacks and continue on the SATC marathon.


Cheers to friendship.