Just when you thought it was over

Hello again,

11.43am Tuesday. I've got a huge thing to do but feeling slightly procrastinatish. The headache from last night is back today and I've gulped a Panadol-Extra, hopefully that kicks in real soon. Or I'm gonna kick my own head.

Last Friday EL talked about writing down our dreams and praying for interpretation. Well, you know I don't have dreams often. The brain really does nothing but just goes silent when I'm sleeping I guess!! It's a good thing. It really works quite hard during waking hours.. all that gazillion thoughts running through every neuron highway... such a mess inside!! Anyway, I had a dream. Yeah it was about my piano. I won't say much, except in my dream, all was a happy ending. What shall I make of it? Could it be my inner desire for perfection and recognition after the enormous effort? It felt so real. In FACT, in my dream I was trying to figure out if it was a dream and the conclusion was it WASN"T a dream. But alas, I woke up and yes... nothing but the product of thy imagination. What a way to burst my happy bubble.

Anyway I've thought about it a lot last week... figured that music is just like work or studies. It's normal to have ups and downs. I believe even Yundi Li thinks he play like crap on certain days. If he doesn't, i'm gonna kick him real hard. Just like how a painter can't be a Picasso every day... I guess I'm entitled to my off days, though it really isn't an excellent excuse. Fear is bad. I'll remember not to let it get to me next time. Be brave. Be daring. Okay? So whatever the results may be, I'll leave that to God and worry less. God has a lot more capacity to handle all that anxiety I'm sure. Hence.. the dream... is a pleasant dream I guess.

Gonna be very busy this week. Have to learn my Chopin scherzi, Debussy prelude, and L's music too. Plus, have to start memorising for UB's performance next week too. Oh I need to play for Sun service too, that'll be a tough one. On the up side - I'm looking forward to next rehearsal on Fri, BBQ on Sat at F's..

Hope to get more piano students too... and probably need to start charging more. Apparently I'm really undercharging. Will do something about it maybe in September.

Back to work now. Groan. X)