Uncle, rest in peace.

Today, I'm writing my 3rd RIP blogpost. This is for his father.

His father was a good man. Quiet, mild but very very kind at heart. And although I am not related to him by blood, he treated me like his own daughter. I loved the food he cooked. Did you know he cooked so well? I loved the twinkle in his eye. I loved how he smiled at the both of us. And I'm really sad to be typing all these in past tense. Because he is no more.

And if it even means anything, my heart is heavy, my jaws are tight, and my cheeks are sour.

I thought I loved his father because I loved him. He told me his parents loved me. That meant a huge deal. But I realised a few year back that though I have fallen out of love with him, I still loved his parents for the individuals that they are. For the love and kindness they have shown to me, has already been part of who I am.

And I'm crying as I write this..
Because I needed to see them. Because I've made plans to see them next weekend. R told me not too. I was insistent. Even then, I did reconsider her words and almost wanted to give up the idea of visiting. But deep down, I know I missed them. Didn't matter if they didn't miss me, didn't matter if they no longer feel for me. The fact is, I feel for them. And that's enough.

Uncle, I'm gonna miss you.