I asked God why. He answered me.
News from a friend at dinner. News I didn't even ask for.
Made me realise..
.. some things hasn't changed.
I wanted to say 'never change' but I do realise it could, or might, or would in the future. Maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow, maybe ten years. But as far as 01 Mar 2006 is concerned, it hasn't. So I guess this is what you really want. Everyone has to take care of themselves. Everyone has to make decisions that they deem fit. Everyone chooses. Right?
I'm not implying that it's right, nor wrong. Nor good or bad. The last thing I want to do is to judge you, especially after all these while. I'm just reminding myself that it's just plain evident that our desires and our lifestyles have forked and gone down split paths.
Above that torrent muddy currents of conflicting feelings, I struggle to breathe and gargle a 'all the best'. I mean it. From deep within. Yet I cannot shake off that tinge of helplessness. Or is it resignation? Disappointment? Or regret? It latches on tightly to my feet. And it's heavy.
Waddle to safe shores. There are sharks in deep waters.
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