Hello Bliss?

To be perfectly honest, its now 7.28am Singapore time in the morning, and I should be working on writing my thesis but here I am, after 15mins of browsing and checking-emails, sitting in front of my IBM and writing yet another blog. Perhaps because this very morning feels different from others.

Why different, you may ask... well, first thing, I woke up at about half past six volunteerily not feeling like a half-dead cat, second, I took off my necklace and stashed it in my mini bear-drawer, third, I long for the feeling of bliss.

Actually, the third probably contributed to much of this general mixed emotion I feel right now, but of course, the weather is perfect (temp ~26/+-2 celsius, windy) and everything and all thrown and mixed in the bowl. Now upon second thoughts, longing for the feeling of bliss seems a little silly. For who doesn't? May I stress that I am not a hopeless romantic sort of girl? (I don't dream up of prince charming scenarios or read romantic novels) And I'm not too sure if a guy is the only person that can bring such blissfulness to a strange person like I am. But I know I miss looking at another person doing something (read a book or cook, etc) and feeling all smiley inside. Too bad love isn't just about feeling that special twist in your heart. It encompasses tolerance, respect, generosity and faithfulness.

I once pondered - how many people in the world are feeling heart-broken at every instant? How many people are walking on the street, appearing seemingly alright, but actually trudging along with a heavy heart? And last but not least, why do we break people's hearts and vice versa? Is it so that its for everyone's good that we each may eventually find a suitable partner or is it all an illusion to think that there is someone out there who's better?

Me?
I do not wish to assume the presence or the existence of another someone-more-suitable. Seriously, I'm not even sure if I can once again taste the feeling of bliss. Or do we only get one chance at it in a lifetime? Each love story is a gamble. It could be a big one or a frivolous one - it all depends on the stakes involved. (I'm not even a gambling sort of person!!) But for now, I could live with that longing, I guess.

No. I have to.


Just like this - me, myself and I in Glendalough, Ireland


(if only writing my thesis could be as easy as writing a blog.)