Sundae

Good morning people.
It's 10am, and I hope you've awaken to find a beautiful day ahead.
I hope its beautiful because I feel a little sad today.
I hope its beautiful because I do not wish you to feel how I feel.
I hope its beautiful because we should still remember the goodness of this world.

Today's sermon was like a message from up above.
Its about this big word - Faith. And no matter how strong we are as a person, we will always have doubts at some point of our lives regarding certain issues, things or more often, people. That's why people say "keep the faith".

I feel sad today because I was sad yesterday.
And when I woke up this morning, some of yesterday's sadness had not gone away. And if I'm not wrong, they are here to stay, not because they like it here, but because I am not letting go of them.

So its a very confusing world going on in my head everyday. Every single day.

Perhaps I lack faith. At times I cannot stand myself either. Why am I so dumb?
In fact, it is times like this I feel as though I lack many things. I lack courage, I lack discipline...
I even think I could be lying to myself sometimes. But I'm afraid of recognising how I honestly feel... because knowing it would make me even more sad? And now I don't even know why I'm writing this on a sunny sunday. Is it true that there isn't a possible scenario where everyone is happy? Because in every happy episode, there will have to be someone or people who need to make sacrifices. They claim to be happy when others are, but they are just deluding themselves?
Can I be the happy one in this episode? Please?