Harlow...
Unforseen circumstances (read: thesis deadlines and lazy fingers) have regrettably caused the delay of an enthusiatic entry on my evening with great violinistVengerov . While you experience certain uncontrollable spasms and unexplainable mouth twitches, you might want to enjoy this Life! article in today's Straits Times Life! section written by Teo Pau Lin about 'being alone'.
I'm not advocating everyone to break up or something! No such thing. Just that I totally agree with what she wrote about the need to step away to look see the bigger picture. After reading this article and thinking, I also realised that my break up with yang was inevitable.. we were really really having problems, bad habits and poor communication despite the fact we do love each other. We needed a miracle to turn things round. Well, instead of a miracle, we got a break, and perhaps its a blessing in disguise? Now that we've had this break, I feel more assured of who I am, what I want and also feel much more confident of dealing with relationship and emotional issues. I believe Yang must have sorted out certain issues and feelings too. In other sense, I'm more of Pauline these days. Not just Gee Young's girlfriend. Cos Pauline is the bubbly, energetic , independent attractive girl that Young fell in love with. You get my picture.
So, sometimes breakups are not the end of the world, in fact, they could be, as what my gf told me yesterday, the "light in the tunnel". So that there would be no more groping in the darkness , no more bad falls and you could once again find each other's hands again.
Well, here's to you, your love, and mine.
Cheers.
IF THERE is one thing I've noticed about Singaporeans, it's that we never watch movies alone.
In your average multiplex, movie-goers are always in twos, threes or more. Which is odd.
For a leisure activity that requires virtually no social interaction (unless you're a raunchy teenager out with your first boyfriend or girlfriend), cinema-going in Singapore is very communal. Show me a person who wants to watch a movie alone, and I'll show you a film reviewer.
The same goes for eating out.
People would rather eat at their desks, eat on the go, or eat toxic cup noodles than eat in a proper dining establishment alone.
Unless you're a stranger from out of town, eating alone often means you're a loser who has no friends, a social misfit or just plain uncool.
Which was why, two years ago, when a girlfriend said she'd gone alone for a seven-day detox holiday in Koh Samui, I was horrified.
Give me seven minutes alone in a cafe and I'll be fiddling with my SMSes to look busy.
But seven days alone in a three-star resort that has no TV? How could one live?
'It's liberating,' she trilled. 'You should try it.'
I scoffed.
I recalled a job assignment in Milan a few years ago, which I had extended for a few days so I could visit Venice on my own.
Venice lasted a mere three hours.
Miserable because I had no one to share the sights with, I took the next train back to Milan where I could do some shopping. Universally, shopping is okay done alone.
But two months ago, as a valiant step towards personal evolution, I went on holiday alone for the first time in my life - for the same detox programme my friend had gone to in the same resort.
No one was free to go with me. I was desperate for a break. And I was curious about colonic irrigation. So, what the heck.
For a week, there was no TV, no music and - to aid the colon flushing procedure - no solid food. But it turned out great.
I read a lot and slept so much that my skin took on an unusual glow.
Making friends with fellow cleansers was easy. The resort afforded everyone the chance to use the once-in-a-lifetime opening line: 'How's your poo?'
I spent many intense hours peering down the toilet bowl, looking at colours, textures and tell-tale remnants of a bad diet past.
But most of all, I had plenty of time to think.
Lying on a deck chair with endless hours stretched before me, I reflected on things that I've neglected in the day-to-day busyness of my life back home:
I should spend more time with my parents. I've been such a lousy aunt to my nieces. Do I want to write forever? Isn't the sky beautiful?
By the time I left, I was energised and lucid. Questions I'd had about a relationship cleared up - it was a yes.
Since then, I've been a firm believer in the importance of being alone.
As much as companionship is vital to life, so is time taken away from the crowd to think and feel.
It retains your personality; and sharpens your mind. It airs your conscience.
I'm suspicious of people who hop from one relationship to another because they probably didn't have enough time alone to deal with and learn from the fallout.
I think people who enjoy the occasional spot of solitude go back to their partners or families with more to give, because they see life with greater perspective.
Lately, I've taken to brisk walking alone around my neighbourhood in the evenings as often as I can, as a physical and mental tune-up of sorts.
Now, the idea of eating or watching a movie alone isn't so preposterous anymore.
Give me seven minutes in a cafe and I'll probably make it 10.
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